


Cooties? Seriously? Are We in Kindergarten Again?

by Okaylittlebrother



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Derek Hale Cooks, Family Feels, Fluff, M/M, Married Life, Messing Around, joking, they have a kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 07:37:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3720532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okaylittlebrother/pseuds/Okaylittlebrother
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles can touch his brain and Derek has cooties</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cooties? Seriously? Are We in Kindergarten Again?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [defendt0pbunk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/defendt0pbunk/gifts).



> i was bored and this is absolute trash. taken from karas sterek headcanon list. enjoy!

"Dad," Calen said as he sat on the counter swinging his feet as Derek washed his hands before starting on dinner before Stiles got home.

"What, buddy?" Derek answered as he dried his hands before digging through the pantry for the spaghetti noodles.

"I wanna be like you when I get big."

"You wanna be like me when you get big?" Derek repeated.

"Yeah."

"Why's that?" He asked.

"Because I want to be as tall as you and I want to drive a fast car like yours and hold Papa's hand and give him presents like you do!"  Calen's voiced raised in awe.

"Don't you hold Papa's hand already?" Derek asked with a chuckle as he leaned against the counter.

"Yes," he nodded. "But you and Papa have bigger hands than me, see Daddy? Look." He told him as he raised his small hand in the air to show Derek.

Derek looked up and nodded. "Yep. Our hands are a lot bigger than yours, but they'll start getting bigger as you grow." He explained to his four year old.

"Why does Papa have long fingers, Daddy?"

Damn he's full of questions today, Derek thought.

"Because Papa likes to jam his finger up his nose to touch his brain, because he's gross." He teased.

Calen gasped, "no he can't, Daddy. That would hurt him. His nose would bleed and then he'd get it all over the house," he explained while flinging his arms around. He was definitely Stiles' son for sure. "Then we'd have to put him outside then he'd get cold and--"

His head turned quickly to look out the window when he heard a car door slam.

"Papa's here!" He announced in excitement as he slid off the counter and ran into the living room just as the door opened.

"Papa!" He squealed as he ran toward Stiles' out stretched arms.

"Hey, little dude!" He greeted with just as much enthusiasm, scooping the little boy into his arms and hugging him tight.

Calen wrapped his short arms around Stiles' as he toed off his work boots.

"Can you really touch your brain?" Calen asked as he looked at Stiles.

Stiles cocked his head to the side and looked at his son in utter confusion. "What?"

"Daddy said you can touch your brain because you have really long fingers." He explained.

"Oh did he now?" Stiles asked.

Calen nodded. "Yep. But you don't have to show me because I told him it would hurt you and I don't want you getting hurt Papa."

"Well you go tell Daddy that he has cooties and that i'm giving _all_ my kisses to _you_ from now on."

"Really, Papa?" Calen asked in surprise. Stiles nodded. "But what about Daddy? He needs kisses too." 

"Nope! Too bad! My kisses are just for you."

Calen wiggled out of Stiles' arms and ran back into the kitchen. 

"Daddy!" He stopped at Derek's side and looked up at him. "Papa said that you have cooties and that all his kisses are for me!" He explained.

Derek made a loud fake gasp and acted as if he was totally heartbroken by the news. 

"You tell Papa, Daddy said come in here right now!" He said pretending to be serious.

Calen ran to get his Papa and was back by Derek's side seconds later before Stiles entered the kitchen.

Derek looked up with his brows drawn together as well as a fake frown. "Papa, did you tell Calen that I had cooties and that your kisses were just for him?"

"You do have cooties, so i'm kissing him from now on." Stiles teased.

Derek turned to Calen and pointed a stiff finger at him. "You better not give my kisses away to him. Or you're in trouble mister!" He joked as he slid the garlic bread into the oven.

"Papa!" He squealed as he ran over to Stiles and into his arms and gave him a few quick pecks on the lips.

"Daddy, I gave Papa kisses!" He giggled.

"That's it! You're grounded forever! No HotWheels, no Ninja Turtles." Derek told him.

"No, Daddy!" He cried. Calen held his hand out to Stiles. "Give me back my kisses, Papa. Daddy needs them." 

"Tell Daddy to come get those kisses himself."

"You said he gets none because of the cooties." Calen reminded him.

"Tell Daddy what?" Derek asked.

"Tell Daddy he's a huge punk!" Calen giggled.

"Now i'm gonna beat you up." Derek chuckled as he walked toward his husband and his son. 

"Ooh! He's coming after you now, buddy. You better run!" He encouraged.

Calen clung to Stiles tighter and hid his face in Stiles shirt and whimpered. "Save me, Papa! Don't let him get me!" 

Derek stood behind Stiles and gently shook Calen's leg, making him scream. 

"Papa!" He whined.

Stiles pushed Derek away and gave him a playful grimace. "Get away from us, Daddy! We don't want your cooties!" He said, shielding their son with his arms.

Derek pulled Stiles back to him and planted a chaste kiss on his lips. 

Calen tried pushing Derek away once more. "Daddy, he's getting your yucky cooties! Get off!"

Derek chuckled before pulling Stiles back in again and kissing him slower this time.

"Papa!" He tugged on Stiles shirt. "Do you have them?" 

Stiles smiled against Derek's lips as he took his bottom lip between is teeth and gently sucked on it.

"Papa, get off him! You said he was gross! Don't give him my kisses!"

Stiles stopped mid kiss and turned to look at his son. "You better run.... Because I got them now!" 

Calen immediately slid from his arms and ran screaming into the living room with Stiles chasing after him.

Derek laughed and watched them as he resumed making dinner.

"So," Calen blurted out while slurping up a spaghetti noddle. He had spaghetti sauce all over his cheeks and dripping down his chin onto his shirt. Derek and Stiles looked up at him simultaneously. "Is anyone going to tell me how to get rid of the cooties?" He asked, in all seriousness. Stiles  _and_ Derek both attacked him with smooches earlier and he was totally convinced he had actually gotten them. This was a serious matter, he didn't want to give cooties to the other kids at school.

Derek grinned and looked over at Stiles for an answer as he also was slurping his noodles up like a four year old. 

He paused and looked at Derek. "What?" He mumbled around the fork in his mouth.

"He asked you how to get rid of the cooties." Derek supplied.

His eyes darted across the table to Calen, who was looking at him with a serious look in his face. He was determined to find a cure for these cooties.

Stiles swallowed before answering.

"Brush your teeth everyday. That will keep them away for sure!"

It was obviously a lie, he just wanted his little man to get into good habits and also because bad breath was just fucking disgusting.

**Author's Note:**

> told you it was trash. i hope you liked it :)


End file.
